Brooklyn queer wave band

Lyrics

Song Lyrics for Wrong Feelings

 

Joy Boy

I said I wouldn’t write you a love song but now just listen what I’ve done. I said it was forever but now look how I’m not holding on.

I didn’t want to write you a love song. I’m so sad when I don’t get what I want. I’ve wanted you forever. I’m so happy now that I moved on.

Crossing the street. Our eyes meet. You smile at me. My knees get weak.

The earth it shakes. Time stands still. Somehow I know I’ll know you very well.

I didn’t think I’d write you a love song. ‘cos it means something to give you power. To think of what you did to me and how it’s all behind me now.

I almost couldn’t write you a love song. It’s so strange when time it finally redeems. I can even see new futures now when you’re not haunting all my dreams.

Outside the gay bar. there you are. it’s no surprise but surprised we are. Our wild lovin’. Short but for me so strong. First loves last past youth time gone.

I begged you to love me. No shame. No shame. I tried to touch you. No shame. No shame. 5, 10, 15. No shame. I wanted to be you!

Outside the gay bar. there you are again. you sent a shock right to my dan tian. My head on your lap the day the airplanes hit. And our friendship. without a word. you ended it.

You ended it. Without a word.

 

Expect to Wait

Finally everything is perfect! Start living now!  Nothing to fear!

I’m exactly who I wanna be and my path is clear!

Waiting. for some moment. And drinking.

In protest of life’s disappointments.

Broken bones. I don’t know who I provoked. Now everybody wants to know how low did Sylvia go?

The fool unleashed. Fucking like It can’t hurt. My body wants to riot. Morning breaks my heart.

Happy. Someone make me happy. Make me laugh till I get gay. Want me to stay

Till I fall asleep forget my dreams and the love that went away.

Drink up. drink it down. till time… is lost – don’t you know by now that everybody loves drunk Josh.

Broken bones. I don’t know who I provoked. Now everybody wants to know how low did Sylvia go?

The fool unleashed. Fucking like It can’t hurt. My body wants to riot. Morning breaks my heart.

Everybody loves my baby. That’s always been the kind I like. It turns me on to envy. Like the jealous moon needs sun to shine.

I’ve been waiting all my life for now to be the time. For the clockwork in the sky to align. All those good times. I felt like dying

Three years dry. and it’s quieter in my untidy mind. still nothing happens just the way I wished it might.

 

Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is a privilege that you take for granted.

My foundation shaaakes and you can’t stand it/you’re bothered  by all my fears, even the ones you planted.

Your motivation’s a gift you act like you’ve earned looking down at me for my even returns/for knowing what I’ve learned.

Your mind gives you an advantage, so step back/so get my back, I try to shine like you do but the stars are stacked/ i’m not well defended and I’m under attack.

You don’t have to try to be loved. It’s a talent/you don’t fight feeling loved it’s a peace that – I deserve as much as anyone.

Former freaks get the creeps when I’m so strange. They forget how it felt just the other day.

Geniuses without understanding. Are you smart enough to love me this way? In spite of all the things I do and say. can you forgive me you with your certainty. can you respect me you and your community.

in spite of what i’ve said – in spite of what I’ve done. I’m supposed to be happy. I’m supposed to have fun. Ya know, I could have your luck and you could have none.
The Unwholesome Visitor

My thoughts tell lies about myself and the world I decry… the world I decry.

Can’t trust what I feel. I don’t know what is real…

The constant critic. my life’s work song. I try to speak but it comes out wrong.

I don’t mean it and I don’t belong.

Floating in space I don’t feel like me. I’m so much greater than i believe. (And so are you.)

I do all this shit. I say all these things. I act like a fool. give people wrong feelings. give people wrong feelings!

I live in this mind with these old thoughts like outgrown friends they hold me back. they hold me back again. These old thoughts like copies of genetic code. making me ugly. making me ugly. Habits like obsolete traditions. It’s just what we’ve always done.

My thoughts they seem true but there’s so much room for doubt. I think I’m trusting my gut but then I fuck it all up again. It’s the voice under the voice under the voice. it’s the voice under the voice under the voice. They were wrong or I misunderstood. That I was good. That I was good.

I want to believe what is true. what is true is what i believe. It scares me to let them go. It scares me to let them go.

The comfort of my shame. The comfort of staying the same.

 

Swedish Lullaby

Go to sleep now kittens you can hardly stand it a big day is ending on a crazy planet . Not what you expected. But gently to dream.  Leave it behind. Nothing’s what it seems.

Go to sleep now babies. You can hardly stand it. A new day is dawning far across the planet. They are just like you. They’ve got a clue. That change is divine. and they’ll be gone in time…

There is a witch atop blue hill. Crafting in a tower. She represents the coven on the local tv news hour. The country celebrates them. Like godless people can. Who care for the sick and less fortunate. They believe in education. Godless people can.

The three queers down the street from jolanda III have their own magic incantations. They can see the future in a child raised with intention.

They marry when necessary but it shouldn’t be a thing. to the need the state to sanction the way you cast your love consensually.

I know I’m looking in from the outside. And it’s not all rhubarb cream and lingonberry pie. The buildings painted blue to look like the sky.  The h&m uniforms and sheltered lives. The nazis. the sterilized.  the high rate of suicide. and the long dark nights. wake up child. open your eyes and rise.

 

The Splits

Don’t wanna help. Don’t wanna think. Just let me sit in front of the screen. Maybe beat… off. I wanna kill, I wanna hurt, I wanna scream.

I don’t wanna hate. I don’t wanna hurt nobody. How can I help? I shouldn’t sing. Shouldn’t I create something important? I can’t decide. Nothing excites me.

Don’t wanna try. Don’t wanna stay. Nowhere to go. So uninspired.

Not much to give. Looking forward to dinner. I can’t learn. ‘cos I’m so tired.

I don’t wanna hate. I don’t wanna hurt nobody. How can I help? I shouldn’t sing. Shouldn’t I create something important? I can’t decide. Nothing excites me.

So many strange creatures under the sea. Makes me feel purposeless. Human mundanity. Makes me feel purposeless.

I don’t wanna hate. I don’t wanna hurt nobody. How can I help? I shouldn’t sing. Shouldn’t I create something important? I can’t decide. Nothing excites me.

Spoken: Everybody’s having babies now like all at the same time. I mean that’s a thing to do and I think babies are cute but i don’t like most of the people that they grow up to be.

 

Induction

You can relax now. focus on your breathing. with every out breath. tension leaving. Expanding awareness to the healing of your heart.

Counting backwards fall more deeply. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 – relax. it’s so easy. relax.

Notice the softening of your gaze. and the quieting of all your critics. down deeper down

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 a wave of relaxation washes over your body. x3

You have power. so much power now. see what you can do. more than you knew. more than you knew.

Notice your body. just might do. exactly what you tell it. what you tell it to. what you tell it to.

You might tell it to dance and because you will it. you will. move to the music. move to the music.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 the music gets louder you fall more deeply down. relaxed and comfortable. no matter what the sound. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

your vast unconscious. stepping to the fore. all the wisdom. that you have in store.

Ask it a question. it will answer. Your best interest. it will offer.

You’re watching yourself. On a giant screen. you’re succeeding. beyond your wildest dreams.

Float into that scene. Feel that feeling. Take that resource into the future

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – open your eyes

 

Raindrops

New York living is a lesson in forgiveness. It takes practice but for what oh for what? This isn’t Patti Smith’s New York anymore if I ever even really wanted that exactly. Lately the dull edge is getting through this thick skin. To stay sane here you have to get out often. I wanna go where the green isn’t grey. In spite of the greed here we got what we need dear to leave and go far away.

I stick my thumb out he holds the sign we know we’ll get there we’ve got time.

Begging adventure. Brave travelers luck. What’s out there waiting? Oh wanderlust!

And when they stop it’s such a rush. We grab our bags and run!

This feels like living. I can forget. That other life so full of regret.

Two qweerdos on the side of the road thanking the forest for lightening our load.

And when they stop it’s such a rush we grab our bags and run!

Inside the tent now and out of the rain. The grass gives some cushion. I can’t complain.

Tomorrow we’ll get a ride somewhere new. meet some kind souls and enjoy the view.

Camping in meadows. Our right to roam. Enchanted forests. Curious gnomes.

Picking wild berries. Naming the herbs. Far from the city and lost to –

The world can seem a place worth staying with balanced minds and friendly faces!! Rested and renewed i can return and have something to give

I miss my city like a romance that’s over. It’s familiar but I know it’s not right.

This is not the new york of my father and mother. They left here during more romanticized times.

 

David’s Song

I heard the knock. at 9-o’clock on a school night. Somehow I knew it was you. When friendships are new. Those are the holiest times.

In 94 we drove to New York in search of promised lands. Sponsored by Pepsi, things weren’t what they used to be. Some things get learned again and again and again.

People change but they’re the same. You can stay or you can leave. Friendships start and grow apart. Faith’s no guarantee.

When you left home for Chicago. I crossed my heart and hoped to die. Playing Jesus wasn’t enough without my friend to tell me lies.

The city beckoned holding hard lessons for you and me. illuminated  I was fated to fulfill the prophecy.

People change but they’re the same. You can stay or you can leave. Friendships start and grow apart. Faith’s no guarantee.

In the basement. Our friendship nascent. I told you you would pray. For soul salvation. my expectation was that god would be real one day.

People change but they’re the same. You can stay or you can leave. Friendships start and grow apart. Faith’s no guarantee.

The gone returned from his sojourn off the planet. alien resurrected. Souls connected. a friendship born again.

Now twenty years since we premiered in your celebrity. what’s been sung can’t be undone. I believe in you my friend.